Lets try this out...

Okay. I have started a new story. I know, I know. Not another one! So, I have created an initiative for me. I am going to be Charles Dickens. Well, not in the literal sense, but do what he did.
When he wrote "A Tale of Two Cities" he did it chapter by chapter, week by week, and submitted it to a newspaper. I am going to try my best to do the exact same thing. So, here we go. Urban Archaeology, in its newest, barely edited state. Please, as I post it, let me know what you think. Thanks.


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The commencement started, the music played, the ugly robes were worn and the tassels hand been placed on the other side of the mortar board. The names had been read, the empty diploma covers given, and the caps tossed. Parents, teachers and administrators clapped and the students started jumping off the stage.
A particularly handsome specimen of a student jumped off the stage in front of me and held his arms out for me.
"Jump, I will catch you!" he yelled to me. I did and he kept his promise.
His hands were still clasped around my waist, mine rested on his shoulders. I looked into his eyes; they were a piercing pale blue, a beautiful blue. In fact, his face was quite handsome as well. A square jaw that needed shaving, he must have neglected that earlier, I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not, his nose was crooked; it must have been broken at one point in time. His overly long chestnut brown hair brushed the shoulders of his ugly grass green robe.
"I'm Tristan." He said in a deep rumbling voice that reverberated through me.
"Lacie, my name is Lacie!" I replied.
That was when it happened. He kissed me. It was as if time had stopped, the world stopped turning and we were the only two people left on the face of the earth. It made my toes curl and made me kiss him back with all that was in me. I had never been kissed like that before.
And it suddenly ended. There were cheers around us, and we were jostled around, forcing him to put me down or fall down with me in his arms, and since I trusted him for some strange and unknown reason, I wouldn’t have minded that. He looked into my eyes once more, fixed my cap that must have come out of the bobby pins and turned to walk down the isle with the rest of his friends.
I knew at that point in time, that I would never forget Tristan, no matter where I went, no matter what I did, he was now a part of my life, and that would never change.
I just wish I had gotten his last name...
~~~
Six Years Later: Ethiopia
Name: Lacie Diana Sullivan
Age: 27
Sex: Female
Nationality: United States of America
Reasons for coming to Ethiopia: I am a Cultural Anthropologist, seeking to work with and study the ways of the Oromo people in the Tigray Region of your beautiful country.
Wow, it was easier to learn a native language in a week than fill out this paperwork, and I sound like a suck up! I thought to myself. I was sitting in a crowded room that stunk of bad cigars, cigarette smoke and the diaper that needed to be changed on the baby beside me. I hunched my shoulders against the press of the people and the smells and kept writing and filling in my paper work so I could get out of there.
Occupation: Cultural Anthropologist
Height: 5 feet and 7 inches
Weight: 108.5 pounds
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Brown
All legitimate things to ask, as good as any I suppose. They are like the questions that the doctor asks, except this time I don’t have to stick out my tongue and say AHHH. At least I hope not. That would just be weird.
How much are you bringing into the country?
Currency (Ethiopian): $285.32
Currency (United States): $967.48
Are you bringing in any fruit from the outside? No.
Are you traveling alone? Yes.
How many are in your party? 1, me.
Are you bringing in firearms or fireworks? One .357 Magnum, registered. No fireworks.
That was an interesting question. Why would they want to know about fireworks? I can understand the firearms, but do they really have such a hard time with fireworks that they have to put it on the paperwork? That is really too bad, I mean, everyone likes fireworks.
With that the questionnaire was finished, and I handed it to the overly chubby balding man that gave it to me originally. He gave me a hard smile as if to say welcome to Ethiopia, but didn’t really mean it. I was in for one heck of a ride if everyone was like this.
~~~

Six Years Later: Ethiopia
Name: Tristan Scott Lyons
Age: 29
Sex: Male
Nationality: United States of America
This was easy for me, almost to the point that I could fill these out in my sleep. Having the job that I do and traveling as much as I do, it was commonplace. I took a break in filling out the irritating, but necessary paperwork to look around the crowded room.
You had your natives, the Indian tribes mixed within, the tourists from Iowa that thought that they were there to have an amazing life experience (and no doubt would), the missionaries who were out to claim souls for Jesus Christ and his Kingdom, and my team. But my eye got caught at the back wall. There was a woman there, average looking, if you were sitting in a nicely padded seat at Grand Station, but definitely average for here.
She was hunched over her paperwork, and then glanced around the room. Her eyes landed on me, and I don’t know why I did it, but I averted mine and went back to my paperwork.
Reason for Visiting Ethiopia: Archaeological dig at Axum
Occupation: Archaeologist
Height: Six feet Three inches
Weight: 257 pounds
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
The questions were typical for your American Emergency Room forms. I only knew this because I had spent way too much time there in my childhood.
How much are you bringing into Ethiopia?
Currency (United States): 4, 583.90
Currency (Ethiopia): 2,947.12
Are you bringing any fruit in from the Outside? No
Are You Traveling Alone? No
How many are in Your Party? 6, not counting myself. Kevin Smith (m), Derrik Walson (m), Fay Walson (f), Erick Rodgers (m), Walker Ellson (m), Chrystal Baker (f). D Walson and F Walson are married.
Do you have any firearms for fireworks? No, they will be shipped in later from the United States of America (USA).
I looked back up in time to see the woman walking out the door. She grabbed up a bag next to the door and stalked into the bright sunlight.

Thanks

Here's a shout out to my awesome brother Jeremiah who set up the email thingy-majig. Yes, that is a technical term. You, little brother, are awesome!
Also, I have a challenge for those of you who are willing to accept. Wow, that sounds deep and ominous. Anyway, read the complete works of Shakespeare in a year. Information is at www.shakespeareinayear.com.

And here is another one...

Here is another one, Ive had it for a while, but it is too funny to not post here too.

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM INDIANA JONES

1. Only the penetant man will pass
2. Dont take your dad on adventures
3. Fadoras ROCK
4. Snakes are slimy
5. Life needs background music
6. Archaeology isnt just digging in the dirt
7. Nazis are scary
8. Trust nobody
9. Keep your bull whip handy... you never know when you need to swing from power lines or save someone from being run over by a tank
10. In Latin the name of GOD starts with an "I"
11. In an emergency a Nazi flag makes a pretty-good rope.
12. If you get dragged behind a truck, every part of your body will hurt except one elbow.
13. You can hitchhike on a submarine.
14. A flock of seagulls can be an effective weapon against a warplane.
15. The best friends to have are foppish museum curators, burly Egyptian family men and twelve-year old orphan boys.
16. Never leave a handfull of rocks on an invisible bridge
17. If you want to be a good archeologist,you have got to get out of the library!
18. Bringing a knife to a gun fight is a bad idea.
19. You're not a triple agent if you lie about being a double one.
20. The best way to survive a nuclear bomb test is by hiding out in a refrigerator(MUST be lead lined!)
21. When it comes to scorpions,the bigger the better. If a small one bites you,don't keep it to yourself.
22. As far as defiant last words go,"I like Ike" goes best with communist villains
23. Sometimes,you'll get a quicker response by saying "Grab the rope" instead of "Grab the snake!"
24. Let's not let the kid see Mom and Dad fight while everyone's being taken prisoner by the bad guys,okay?
25. Be sure you really want to know everything before being uploaded with extraterrestrial knowledge

Woah, How Rude of Me!

I realize that I have neglected to bring anything to the figurative table on this particular blog. So, here it goes: I did this for my friend Shawna's blog at www.eurantale.com. This is just one in her series of "You may be a _____ major if" or "How to tell if your friend is a _____ major." Here is one for History.

1. You fall out of your chair laughing when a classmate wants to know if "Delaware is a state".

2. You find it hilarious that when you type in "Aztec Sacrifices" into Google, "for kids" comes up.

3. You love Indiana Jones, but dispute when things took place.

4. You throw a fit every time you hear President Bush's speech welcoming the Queen of England to the United States.

5. You notice obscure things about Presidential assassinations. Like how the assassins names are always all three names: Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth, just as an example.

6. You love the first National Treasure, mostly because it is believable, but hate the second one, because really, how could there be a treasure in Mount Rushmore and the builders didnt find it?

7. You refer to Istanbul as Constantinople.

8. Family members ask you for questions related to history.

9. You’ve often pondered things like, “what would happen if Napoleon won the Battle of Waterloo?”

10. Your personal hero lived over 500 years ago.

11. Your #1 destination is the Library at Alexandria.

12. You complain about inaccuracies in “historical” films.

13. You observe your favorite historical figures’ birthdays and death anniversaries.

14. You imagine yourself making commentaries on history like the historians do in the documentaries.

15. You shudder when you see the book “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” because that’s just WRONG!